On Friday, Dan and I went to his co-worker's house for some out-of-the-office hang-out time with the rest of the folks on his team and their families. Some of his co-workers have young children, but the hosts actually have grown (college age) kids and waxed nostalgically about what they called the "tunnel years" (i.e. when your kids are under 5).
I think some people really dig the tunnel (I mean they like it; not physically shovel themselves into it). I personally think the tunnel kinda sucks. (Random note-- I just overheard Dan telling Chickie, "Mommy loves elephants. And 'Titanic'. And shoes." Yeah, I loved "Titanic" in 1997 when Tara and I would sing the "Titanic" music really loudly after coming home drunk at 3 a.m.) OK, so maybe that wasn't so random-- great example of pre-tunnel living. No, don't get me wrong-- I have NO desire to get drunk and come home at 3 a.m., and I was long over that by the time I decided to get pregnant. Actually, since it took me quite a while to get pregnant (about 9 months-- not really abnormal, but it seemed way too long at the time), I had the wonderful opportunity to get all kinds of stuff out of my system and consequently spent that summer running around with Kaja drinking and swimming in random ponds and buying shoes. Well, only one pair of shoes, but they're the most kickass shoes ever (but mine are in red), and I wear them nearly everyday.
I don't really miss drinking to excess (well, I wouldn't mind going on a bender here and there), and I can buy shoes online, and I certainly don't miss "Titanic", for fuck's sake. I miss friends. )You know, I will say that my intention was to be more funny than sappy/depressing when I started blogging, but perhaps it hasn't ended up that way....) But really, I do miss friends. I have been really lucky and have made some really wonderful friends in the past year, and I feel like I've gone through a lot with them as we've bush-whacked our way through our babies' first year. But I miss being in contact with people whom I've known for years and who know me so well-- people who know me as more than a mom.
And what sucks about being in the tunnel is that people without babies often don't realize what the tunnel is and how it kinda rules your life. Pre-baby, it was hard to be in touch with folks who live in Cali-- by the time they were home from work, it was around 9 p.m. here, and I was usually firmly planted on the couch and reluctant to start a conversation with anything but the remote. Now, I'm usually running around the house at 9 p.m. washing pump parts and getting random shit ready for the next morning (or I'm eating dinner!) and having a meaningful conversation with anyone other than myself (because I'm usually losing my mind at this point in the evening) is out of the question.
I think I'm kinda over the oh-my-God-my-life-post-baby-is-SO-fucking-hard-woe-is-me bullshit, because really, my life isn't hard. Yeah, I'm tired as all get-out most of the time, but in general, it's all good. I guess I just miss my friends and miss connecting with women in a way that didn't involve babies. I remember when Chickie was tiny and would fall asleep in my arms after nursing, I'd pick up the phone and call girlfriends and say, "OK, tell me an R-rated story. Anything involving sex, scandal, general naughtiness, etc." So, if you're reading this, care to share some R-rated stories? Please, there has to be non-baby entertainment in the tunnel, right?
1 comment:
I hear you, Div! I totally know what you mean about the tunnel. Sometimes it seems like my life is just consumed by my kids and I wonder how it is that my life could be so different just 3 short years ago. I miss the same things you do...hanging out with friends, going to movies whenever I wanted, going for a run on the spur of the moment, going shopping with the girls. I guess things will change in the next few years and we will get our lives back in a way as the kids get older. It's a time of so many emotions...good, bad, scary, funny...it's a real roller coaster ride. One thing I am glad of, though, is that we have become closer. I think mommyhood did that for us and I hope that it can continue after we both get out of the tunnel :)
As for R-rated or scandal, I don't have too much of that going on...my husband is on a submarine under the ocean, which limits my access to sex stories :) I did just hear this scandal though...John McCain's VP nominee has a teenage daughter who is preggo. It's not looking good for the Republicans! I love those kind of scandals, don't you?
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