On strike, or...

Weaning? Oy, who knows. My little lamb has had a rough time over the past few days with his cold, fever, and nagging canine. Basically, the poor little dude's head has been a total war zone, and without the benefit of words, it's hard to know what the hell's really going on in there. I can't wait for the day when he can point to his head and say, "Mama, it hurts." But for now, we can only speculate...

Back to the major focus of all baby-related crises: nursing. For the past couple days, he's had a lot of difficulty with it. Granted, I don't have a lot of milk these days, but it's not like there's nothing there, either. On Saturday, he nursed in the middle of the night, first thing in the morning, and before his morning nap, but then he didn't want to before his afternoon nap. Well, he did, but he didn't want to stick with it and wait for a let-down; he decided to scream in stead. Poor little thing. I ended up pumping. Have I not introduced you to my other baby? Good times. Same deal again at bedtime-- he'd latch and try to nurse, but then he was done. And that came at the end of my long and frustrating rainy day at home with him, so I was pretty freaking done, too.

Yesterday was more of the same, except he only nursed in the middle of the night (what a relief that was) and first thing in the morning. He didn't really eat a lot of food yesterday, either, so the poor little thing was probably hungry. When he did the same latch-suck-scream-refuse routine before both naps and before bedtime, I had to wonder-- is this IT?

The idea of weaning is really sad to me. Honestly, I'm just not ready for it-- I'm not ready to close the book on this. Ultimately, I know I don't have a choice, and if he's weaning, he's weaning, and there isn't really anything I can do about it. But truthfully, I don't think he is... he nursed well in the middle of the night last night and again this morning, so perhaps he's just willing to do it only when he really, really wants it-- and that could he because he's starting to lose interest OR it could be because he's teething and his mouth hurts like hell. Who knows?? Hopefully, we'll figure it out soon.

I think there'll be a time when I'll feel relief at the prospect of weaning, but I'm just not there yet...