Slowing Down

I suck at it. But I think I need to do it now. Blergh.

After being sick for 3+ weeks with a gross cough, I finally saw the doctor again at the end of last week (I had seen the doctor once a couple weeks ago, and she gave me the standard "You have no immune system; it's a virus; go get rest" line) and, lo and behold, it turns out that I have bronchitis. Hooray! This means I get to take drugs and actually have it GET THE HELL OUT of my body (the body that is increasingly NOT mine these days...) Well, about 45 minutes after I swallowed those lovely 2 pills of zithromax, I looked at Dan and said, "Um, I think I'm going to throw up now", and I did. So much for drugs that work. Thankfully, our dearly beloved pharmaceuticals make more than one drug that works, and I managed to get my hands on some amoxicillin 24 hours later, and... believe it or not, I'm starting to feel better. It's about freaking time!

So, the moral of the story is, I need to slow down a bit. I'm sort of kicking myself, because if I had actually taken it easy when I first got sick weeks ago, perhaps I wouldn't be here now with a stupid lung infection taking totally toxic drugs (let's face it, antibiotics are totally freaking toxic-- necessary, but toxic). But you know, I'm quick to blame myself now, but the whole time, everyone else was telling me that it was either a virus or allergies, and Dan never stepped in to wake up in the morning with Chickie or do things like that that would let me get a break. Of course, I never said, "OK, I'm officially sick and am taking to my bed-- everyone just needs to deal with that!" I'm not really programmed that way, and am even less prone to do that now that I'm constantly in crazy Mommy mode.

But you know, despite being pretty sick, I've felt oddly healthy this past month-- I know how stupid that sounds, but hear me out-- I have had this f-ing AWFUL cough, but I just sorta kept going because I felt like I didn't have a choice. I ran into the street after my kid and basically just kept running after him and going to work and exercising and doing all the random shit I had to do. But I think I need to chill out a bit now.

Also, I'm 25 weeks pregnant today, and all of a sudden, I'm starting to feel it a bit. I don't know if it's because I've been so sick, but I suddenly feel changes in my body that I hadn't really felt until now. When I was 17 weeks pregnant with Chickie, my hips started aching, and they hurt like hell until the very end! Up until now, I had been SO thrilled that I hadn't been feeling much of that, and then all of a sudden, my hips started ACHING a couple nights ago and the outsides of my legs (ah, those damn IT bands!) are insanely tight. My hips actually feel wider and I feel forced to do that waddle walk just a bit. Just when the control freak in me thinks that pregnancy is never going to slow me down this time, I am reminded that I'm actually SO not in control here.