Family update and other stories

A while ago, I wrote a post about my uncle and the family drama that's gone on between my mom and my uncle, drama that started over the care of my Grandma, who has Alzheimer's. Well, that's not entirely true-- there was always drama between my mom and my crazy freakass aunt (my uncle's wife), and at times, that drama would spill over into the relationship between my mom and her brother, but when Grandma's mental health really headed south a few years ago, my mom's relationship with my uncle headed south as well, and now that relationship exists between lawyers. It's a freaking party.

Anyway, nearly out of the blue, a couple weeks ago, my mom's lawyer called to say that since her mental health has deteriorated and since her money is running out, my uncle and aunt had decided to apply for Medicaid for her and put her in a nursing home-- for good. The really crazy part is that the nursing home they decided to put her in is in Connecticut, about 15 minutes from my parents house, and NOT in New Jersey, where my aunt and uncle live. Apparently, the nursing home options in NJ weren't nearly as good as the home in CT, which is a really fantastic, state-of-the-art place... as nursing homes go, I suppose. The most bizarre thing is that the lawyer was basically like, "She's coming soon" when my mom asked when the change would happen.

Well, she got there this past Friday, just about a week after my mom got that call from the lawyer. So far, my mom hasn't had to field any of the inevitable and heart-breaking questions like, "Why am I here? When am I going home? Why do I have to sleep here?" but I think every time my mom has gone to see her, she has been filled with dread at the prospect of having to see her own mother ask why she can't sleep in her own bed. I personally think that the transition has rattled her so much that she hasn't been able to formulate those questions; my mom thinks that her mental capacity has declined so much that she doesn't quite get where she is in the first place. Who knows...

It's a hard, hard thing to accept that she's in a nursing home and that her mental health is really only a one-way street-- and only time will tell how fast she deteriorates. But ultimately, this change is good for many reasons-- clearly, this is the right move for her so that she's guaranteed to get the care she really needs. Also, her being closer to my parents will enable my mom to assuage her own guilt of not being able to look after her own mother in the way she believes she should (although she knows that she can't possibly do that without hiring 24-hour help, and there isn't money for that). My mom can visit Grandma once or twice a week and be involved in her life and feel like she's doing her duty to her mother-- and yes, we Hindus are ALL about that duty thing. Duty, duty, duty.

So, that's the story with that.

Oh, the other stories bit-- Dan left for California this afternoon. I'm already bored out of my gourd. It's funny, because when he works late or whatever, I actually like the alone-time after Chickie goes to bed, but knowing it's gonna be this way for 4 days and 4 nights makes it less exciting and more... boring. I was amazed at how much Chickie understood-- he kept saying that Daddy went on an airplane in the sky, but of course, he doesn't get that Daddy isn't coming home for a few days and will come back on Friday. I'm dreading the screaming, "Daddy! Daddy! DAAADDYYYYYYYY!!" fit that is inevitably coming my way, especially since Dan spent a LOT of time with Chickie this weekend doing a lot of Daddy-toddler boy rough-housing, much to Chickie's utter glee. Due to my growing belly, I can't exactly lie on my back on the floor and have Chickie jump up and down on me (this is what he does to Dan-- no joke) so I'm not nearly as fun as Daddy these days. Oh, well.

And I really hope the damn coffee machine cooperates for me tomorrow morning! It always comes out like sludge for me. Blergh. Cross your fingers for successful caffeination...