.... healthy baby. What a relief. Those ultrasounds are truly amazing-- seeing those 4 chambers of the heart push and pull and whoosh around is really freaking rad. It's all pretty damn miraculous. How do all those parts get to where they're supposed to be and start working? Amazing.
And it's a girl. I am totally thrilled.
Here's the thing-- I think you guys know that I was hoping that the baby would be a girl, and I had a lot of weird feelings about that hope (who, me? weird, mixed feelings? never...) because really, who am I to want anything-- all I can really hope for is a healthy baby, especially when so many women can't have children or miscarry or what have you. But I did want to have a girl-- I've always had this idea/hope that I would have a boy and a girl. So, anyway, I spent a lot of time today just checking myself emotionally about that and thinking, "OK, having 2 boys would be amazing and so much fun. And just because I have another boy doesn't mean that he'll be a Chickie clone-- what does biological sex really predict about your kid?" And so on.
Anyway, by the time we got in that ultrasound room and saw the baby moving and kicking and rolling around (she spent the first chunk of time standing on her head), I was in love. IN LOVE. Like I've said before, I have had weird mixed feelings about everything, mainly because I've been feeling so freaking nauseous and exhausted and insane due to the massive hormonal invasion, and I feel like everyone expected me to be fucking blissed out all the time, and I just haven't been. But today, I do feel blissed out, and it's fabulous.
So, there we were, watching this baby roll around, and I was like, "Oh, I don't even care-- I am totally in love with this baby!" and then the radiologist came in and took a second look and gave us the news.
I could do a whole college-esque deconstruction of gender and why gender matters and why/how we create and perform gender every day, but I won't :) Who cares?? Chickie's gonna have a baby sister.
4 comments:
Congratulations!!!!!!!!! That is so exciting! And I'm so glad that you're having a blissful day! Amidst all the emotions of having a baby, the whole boy/girl thing, work, taking care of a toddler, hormones, physical changes etc etc etc--you are justified to feel however you want! But it is great to have a blissfully happy day! :) And so cool that you got to see your little GIRL moving around and making it all so much more "real."
I am so happy to get to know your little girl! (And I just want to point out that the Chinese Zodiac was right again! It's like 14 out of 14 or something like that right now!) Have a wonderful wonderful night!!
Princesses, pink, tiaras, tutus, baby dolls, dress-ups, pig-tails, barbies, glitter, lipstick, Cinderella, barrettes...
enough said!
I am SOOOOO happy for you! Can't wait to meet her!
thanks for the love, ladies!
tara, that chinese zodiac thing is crazy and uncanny. i can't believe it!
kat, we will definitely have to raid buggy's dress-up bin in a couple of years. since i'm already tempted to put barrettes in chickie's hair, who knows what i will do to this little girl's hair!!
okay, to quote the same cliche that i've had to hear for, oh about the last THREE YEARS, "you have a boy and a girl. you're SO LUCKY! are you done now, or are you going to have a third?"
ugh.
and i totally feel you re: the mixed feelings and the flood of emotions and shit. dude, i was happy and in love with the little alien on the sonogram with the 4 chambers of the heart and shit, but can i tell you that i was NOT thrilled that i was having a girl? seriously! i was like, "boys are easy! WTF am i going to do with a little princess!"
anyway, don't feel like you have to be blissed out all the time. i HATE people who think that pregnant woman should be happy all the goddamned time. those people have obviously never carried another human in their womb!
CONGRATS AGAIN! :) :) :)
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