A year ago, I was pregnant with SJL. In another week or so, we would find out that she was a girl, and that she was a real live healthy baby growing inside of me, and as fate would have it, that was also the last day that I nursed Chickie. We had been down to once a day for a while, and that ultrasound made me realize that I was really going to have a baby 5 months later and that perhaps this was the end of our nursing road.
And a year later, SJL is over 6 months old. Yeah, the days really freaking drag, but the months are flying. She's SO different than Chickie was at this age-- she sits really well (he did, too, though) and can scoot backwards when put on her belly, and of course, she kicks and knocks over all of his elaborate truck and train formations, much to his ire. She's also super interested in toys and wants to grab them constantly; unlike her brother at her age, she loves holding onto toys and putting them in their mouth... oh, yeah; babies are supposed to be oral. Remember how my boy was SO not into that? Couldn't even put teething gel on his gums.
And teeth-- yeah, she's cutting her first one. Perhaps the truly carefree days of nursing are behind us and I'll now always have to watch for her loss of interest so that she doesn't start biting... oh, and FOOD. The girl isn't chowing down the way many babies her age do, but she's clearly interested in eating and lets me put food in her mouth, and she's actually starting to enjoy it. I gave her some peach yesterday, and for the first time, she was really looking for more and eagerly opening her mouth for it. Thank GOD. It seems like something has clicked in her brain over the past couple weeks and she's become SO much more interested in everything-- people around her, toys, food, stuff to put in her mouth, etc.
The boy is hanging in there. He has had a slightly rocky transition into the preschool room at daycare-- yeah, that's right-- PRESCHOOL-- how the hell did that happen?? Yeah, the kid's pushing 3. Insane. Anyway, every so often, I seem to bump up against this we-need-to-get-the-kids-more-independent philosophy in my child's caregivers. Sure, I'm all about fostering independence-- believe me, when it's pouring rain and we're all exhausted and I'm trying to get the 2 kids into the house (along with bags of groceries), I'm ALL about my toddler having enough independence to WALK his butt up the stairs himself, and of course, right in that moment, he inevitably whines, "mama, carry me! mama, carry meeeeee! I want uuuuuuuuuuup!"
And here's the thing: he's still a very small child. He's not even 3 years old. Everyone keeps saying that when kids get a younger sibling, it's a good idea to talk up the "you're a big boy now" crap, e.g. "wow, look what you can do-- you can have crackers and pizza because you're a BIG BOY!" Sure, that's great, but he's really NOT a big boy. He's not even 3. When the hell did that become big?? Yes, when you have one infant, you are really ready for your older child to become self-sufficient in some areas (putting on a toddler's shoes when you have an infant strapped to you in a baby carrier really sucks), but I've found that I get more mileage with him if I baby him a little here and there. Took me a while to realize that, though.
Anyway, I had to do some mama bear style advocacy for Chickie at his preschool to ask the teachers to give him a little break and a little more TLC since he's the youngest kid in that room and may need a little more time with certain things, especially since many of the other kids are close to 4 and he's not even 3.
I've also started realizing that perhaps it'd be good for SJL to do a couple mornings a week in a family daycare by the time the fall rolls around. That's just 6 months away, but she's already becoming SO social and craving social interaction that I wonder if I should start planning for that, and if I should start thinking about working a couple mornings a week again. Of course, I don't really know what the hell I would do or where! I worked for years to get where I was before I left my job, and after leaving that, I'm at a bit of a loss in terms of what to do next. I guess I'll figure it out.
And I'm still bored. Bored and tired. Dating a little, i.e. meeting some SAHMs for coffee and that sort of thing. Some of that feels good, and some of it is tiring. I keep feeling like this just isn't who I am, but perhaps it *is*, and I'm just figuring it all out.
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