Vacation (and everything else you wanted to know about the past few weeks)

I am a bad blogger. But enough with that.

Lots of stuff has happened-- my sweet little boy turned 2 a couple weeks ago. Lots of presents, cake, and fun ensued. Amidst the endless rain we've had for the past months, 2 of the most beautiful days happened to be the day of his birthday party AND his actual birthday, so I guess this kid did something in a previous birth to appease the weather gods. I guess I'll keep him :)

Like clockwork, Chickie REALLY turned 2 and kicked the terrible 2's into high gear and brought whining and tantruming and general disagreeing to a whole new level. That combined with the shitty weather has made for a fun household-- we basically yelled "NO!" at each other for 2 weeks.

I am over 31 weeks now with This One, and over the past few weeks, I've really felt great. Lots of energy, lots of activity, lots of good preggo feelings. Still need to motivate to take the damn Floradix (iron supplement) that's sitting on my kitchen counter, but our doula said that as long as I'm good about it for the last month, I should be fine. I haven't gained a lot of weight, and I still feel really agile and energetic. I felt like crap around this time when I was pregnant with Chickie, so it's lovely to feel so different this time around. I see all of this as an investment into a healthy post-partum period-- as you probably know, for me, labor and delivery was a cake walk compared to my PP hell, so I'm willing to do whatever it takes to help my body and spirits bounce back faster this time around.

We had our first meeting with our AMAZING doula, and I feel really excited and confident going into the birth process. I feel so much more empowered and less afraid than last time, and, for better or for worse, I have more specific ideas about how I want things to go. I think that that's a good thing, because it's important to be able to know what you want and advocate for yourself once you're in the hospital (yeah, I'm getting more and more tempted by the idea of a home birth, but I'm going to stick with the Brigham...) but at the same time, the more you have clear ideas of what you want, the more possibility there is for disappointment. It's definitely a balancing act.

Most importantly, we are on vacation! A REAL vacation. My folks have rented a house on the Cape for a week, and Dan and I came down here with Chickie on Saturday and spent a couple nights with them. In general, Chickie was a total pill and had about 5 tantrums each day, and that made it just that much harder to leave-- but we did! Dan and I came to Provincetown on Monday and have been here for the past couple nights-- just the 2 of us. This is the first time I've ever left Chickie overnight... sure, I've left him for 8 or 9 hours a day 3 days a week ever since he was 15 weeks old, but leaving him over night is a different thing-- when he needs something in the middle of the night or when he wakes up in the morning, he always asks for Mama. Always. But you know, we thought that it would be best for everyone if Dan and I got a little break and got a chance to take a gigantic breath and fill our lungs with air before we head back underwater in a couple months when the baby comes-- it's good for Dan and me, good for Chickie, and good for my parents to have this experience.

So far, it's been amazing. Dan and I haven't taken a vacation by ourselves since our honeymoon nearly 5 years ago-- isn't that crazy? It has been such a treat to just do whatever we want whenever we want at whatever pace we feel like. This slow pace of life is the ultimate luxury-- there's just nothing to do and nothing to worry about and nowhere to be. We sleep when we want, eat when we want, linger over our food, walk when we want, watch tv, whatever. Nothing is dictating the pace of life-- it's amazing how luxurious that feels. At first, when we got here, I was like, "OK, so what are we going to do just the 2 of us for 3 days?" And the answer is a whole lot of nothing-- and it really feels great. I think that this is the first time in our lives that we could actually enjoy this type of vacation-- before, we would want to do something or see something or have some sort of adventure, but now, just sitting quietly, having a random conversation, reading a book, falling asleep, and having a long yummy meal is the perfect vacation.

But we're going to see Chickie tomorrow, and I think we're ready. It's raining and thundering outside now, and I know how scared Chickie gets during thunder, and I wish I could be there with him. My parents have said that he's been in a great mood and has had a wonderful time-- going to the beach, building sandcastles (called happy birthday cakes, apparently), and going for walks, but I think all of us will be happy to be back together again!

The big thing I keep thinking about and reflecting on is how to translate this feeling of peace, restfulness, and general happiness back into our day-to-day life-- Dan and I are just SO happy and relaxed now, and there's GOT to be a way to keep this feeling going even once we're home and constantly strapped for time and energy. I think about how important it is for kids to grow up in a happy, joyful home and how I can do a better job providing that environment for my family.