The good news is that things have mellowed out at work (for both Dan and me), so no one feels quite as insane as before Thanksgiving. I think things really came to a head when Dan and I both came down with the horrid 24-hour barfing bug that was tearing through JP like the freaking plague. Fucking HORRIBLE.
Chickie is saying new words practically every day, and it's really cool to watch him learn new things ALL the time. That said, he's become SO much more aggressive and easily gets into these uber-agro moods where he's hitting and throwing CONSTANTLY, and I feel like I'm always on the verge of losing my temper-- not a good way to be. Like everything else, I know it'll pass. Once he understands what "that hurts" means, he probably won't throw the remote control at my face at point-blank range.
Yesterday, he basically had a tantrum ALL day long-- I thought that he was pissed because he was over-stimulated and tired, but he was still pissed after a 3 hour nap-- arching his back, flailing around, lying on the floor kicking away, and screaming bloody murder. I thought he needed a change of scenery, so I took him to a playgroup, only to have him throw a fit in someone else's house when there wasn't any more Veggie Booty... it sucks when other moms mean well but you know they're giving you that judgie-wudgie kind of look like, "Hmm, you really can't control your child, can you?"
One of the women at the playgroup was talking about how she puts her 16 month-old in time-out for all kinds of things-- hitting, throwing, throwing tantrums, etc. and how it's super effective and how kids really need boundaries and what not. Sure, yes, kids need boundaries-- remember that friend you had in high school who used to smoke weed with their parents? Fucked up. Kids need boundaries. But Chickie is not even 18 months old-- I don't think it's time to start the Skinner box behavioral shit already, right? Or maybe I'm letting him run wild-- who knows? After all, he throws shit everywhere and yells, "No throw! Not nice!" Cheeky! He's totally teething again, too. I see the canines busting at the gums. Fucking teeth.
But yes, this too shall pass.
4 comments:
My old pediatrician (who I loved) told me time-out isn't even effective until age 2. So, maybe the other playgroup mom is just getting lucky? I didn't start it with Buggy until about 2. It does work for us, but they have to be able to understand what the hell you are doing! I know the frustration you feel and definitely lose my temper with my kids. Chickie is so well loved by you and Dan, I know that he will be secure even if you lose your temper every once in a while or set boundaries...age-appropriately of course. (Which you and Dan definitely do!) Don't you just hate when everyone else seems to have the magic cure and thinks you're doing everything wrong? Other moms can be so judgemental. You are doing an amazing job, Div!
I can only imagine how frustrating that can be at times (and how NORMAL it is to be frustrated). And I'm sure I'll be in your shoes 2 years from now, and coming to you guys to vent, so you can tell me, "It'll pass!" I don't have the personal experience to say that yet (but know it will), but I can say you guys are fab parents and your son was so cute at Thanksgiving!
As frustrating as it is, it did make me smile to read that he says, "no throw" and "not nice" when he throws things! He is one smart little guy (with an ironic sense of humor!).
(And I'm glad things have mellowed out for you at work! That is great!)
thanks for the support, ladies.
kat-- yeah, they have to understand what's going on before time-out can actually work. until then, it's just another game, i think. our pedi (like yours) also said that it's not worth it until then-- dunno what's going on with this one mom...
MOFM-- yeah, i say fuck the judgie-wudgies as well. and you know, karma's a bitch, and they'll get theirs at some point, right? and yes, i am seriously considering never going anywhere with my toddler... although, i will say that many moms of older kids are usually pretty cool and sympathetic when chickie has a meltdown (like today in stride-rite, for example)-- they know the drill!
tara-- yeah, he's totally funny and smart and MADDENING at the same time, so my sense of humor is definitely coming in handy here :) and yes, you can totally vent to me when you're going through this with your little guy...
All this tantrum-speak is making this pre-dad nervous... Chicky's cheekiness made me laugh...it's actually kind of similar to a friend of mine whose 2-yr old, instead of yelling "NOOO!" when he disagrees with whatever, screams out "NO THANK YOU!!" at the top of his lungs.
Man, what do you do with that? It's like a pre-emptive strike...very sneaky!
Super Nanny makes it all look sooo easy...
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